Today, completely flushed...spotted in a careless demise of emotions that fill; no order,rationality nor absolution. any reminder spelt as just another play for; what could have been, what the effort has sucked out and what bit of self is still left in all of it. suddenly i have swum so far into the deep end i do not know whether i am still afloat by my own skill or by the density of the water fighting my own!
at point A, my mind frame was pointed toward ends, a direction made specific and defined, in truth oblivious to what the road itself had in store but headed down road none the less, but now...a few observations later, a few whys and nots later and a little too cold in exposed self, i find myself in transition,this cannot carry on any longer! pride's prejudice aside its all a, b, c really when you mix green and yellow you get lime. when you commit time and energy, there should be some kind of result even if none desired...oh wait, that must be it, SHUXX!!!i just did NOT get the result i had hoped for...and thats the greater lesson learned!
although sad at the prospect of having been misled and de-valued, manipulated and toyed and of course mourned at the time and emotion wasted,not all was in vain because the experience has developed a new eye for character and intention, true meaning or the puppet on a string! needless to say the criss-cross leaves its bruises EVEN with the greater wisdom the experience has borrowed and no matter how much!
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