verbalising, what a curse

My reactions are not spontaneous, there's a build up.

Problem is I'm not so good at letting my feelings be known..

Particularly feelings I figure are petty, or make me out as a victim.

So I shut down while masking an implosion... 

Not to say I like it, I don't!

I wish to speak but I don't know the right thing to say.

Too many things haunt my mind and silence is the best I can manage.

I especially hate arguments.

Too bad Ms Feline, human interaction is built on conflict

We won't always get along, and at some point you will have to let your feelings be known.

The voice of reason always tells me, so I try... 

And trial makes room for misinterpretation and misunderstanding!

If I could please everyone.

I love learning so I appreciate instruction.

I love learning so I want the opportunity to try without much help.

(it's a personal problem for someone a little too ambitious)

Many things I've done have proven to be mistakes as a result.

I've made my flaws visible for the taking,..

I could do with more caution I suppose.

Sometimes however, these mistakes happen because I was too cautious.

Because I left no room to show the me element, because i was focused on instruction.

I might be rationalising bull, but I need to hear the sound of my own voice.

Whether it's trembling, or my projection's off, or grammar, whatever... 

I need to hear the sound of my own voice so that I can measure my growth on this journey.

What happens when I have no instruction and I have to fend for myself?

what happens when I have no one to tell me how to articulate myself?

I need to hear my own voice, It's not selfish, it's the only way I can be of use to anyone.